'happiness is the consequence of personal effort'

title from Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love.

A few weeks ago I had slipped back into that lonely feeling I got after arriving in Chile. Well really...it wasn't loneliness...I was just lost. I have been feeling different here, I dont live the same way as I do back home - for obvious reasons - Santaigo is a city, Sutton is a town.

But I have found myself really missing things I used to enjoy - like crochetting with Katie, knitting with Sara and Sarah, playing guitar for hours until my fingers couldnt take it, baking, walking down the hall or across the street to see a friend.

Here, it's more difficult to do that kind of thing. I think I've been missing University life - I've always wanted to be the type of independent strong woman who is adventurous, peaceful, simple but social...and really it's difficult to balance that when you're doing that for the first time in a new country, in a different language...with no money in your pockets haha. I really don't know why it's difficult...sometimes it's actually easy and really fun. Maybe it's not difficult at all...maybe it's just different.

I've been thinking lately about where I'm headed next year. I KNOW for sure that I will teach...and I will go to an asian country. Something inside me is telling me to go to Thailand...but I also have a little voice telling me to go to Indonesia (probably due to my recent exposure to the book Eat, Pray, Love - for the second time I might add). These places I think would really make me feel comfortable and really encourage me to grow and explore more about me and my surroundings. But my wallet is telling me to go someplace more stable like China or South Korea. I'm not sure why, but South Korea doesnt interest me. I have a friend who recently came back from teaching there and SAVED 26,000 dollars. I have a friend there now who has posted some beautiful photos from her journey there so far, I have a friend headed there in a very short time that I would love to spend time with - BUT...my heart isn't into it.

China, on the other hand, speaks to me. I've always been drawn to Chinese things - for example when I was 13, I had my graduation dress handmade so I could wear some kind of Asian inspired gown, I LOVE any kind of asian garden, I love Chinese food and I just want to go there dammit! But as much as I'm drawn to China - Thailand and Indonesia are pulling at my heart strings.

News from Chile:

Currently I technically have 3 jobs in Chile. I was hired at the same school that some of my friends work at, and then, the following week I was hired at a Business office that my friend Patrick is working at. I love the people at this office whereas at the other school, I think I would be appreciated as much as in smaller establishments. So I have unofficially chosen the business office to work for. I am starting classes with them next week :)

I will be making more money and the great thing about it is that it sounds very laid back and doesnt really interfere with my schedule at Bridge. My interview for this new place was very interesting. I walked in, sat down with two men - a native English speaker, and the boss of this particular company (an older Chilean man). I talked to him as though I was shootin the shit with my dad. The boss asked me if I thought Canada was better than the United States, then he named off all of the wonderful (and beautiful) talent that has come from Canada. Following this, he asked me why I came to Chile and blunty I replied "maybe this is a disappointing answer, but I really don't know". Then he asked me what I liked and disliked about Chile and so i told him honestly:

Dislikes: no sidewalk etiquette, and everyone is late for everything

Likes: the fact that there is every possible landscape in this one country and that I can look outside my apartment window and see mountains and palm trees.

At one point I told him that I felt that English class had to be fun because you shouldn't take life to seriously, he cracked a few jokes, I laughed and he pointed to me, looked at the native English speaking man in the room and said "this is a good woman", he reached out his hand and said "welcome". Just like that.

To counteract my lost feeling - I've really had to put effort into doing/finding things I love. Chile is not a country with an endless supply of materials for baking, knitting, playing guitar and so on...it's limited...so you've gotta find a way to do what you love with the things you have.

I've started to take up knitting again - so far I have made a scarf and currently I'm working on a pair of mittens. Knitting is only popular here (or so I've noticed) in the following populations: poor people who are selling their knitted creations and old ladies who just genuinely enjoy it. Knitting is not a common 20 something year old activity like it is in North America. I have told Chileans that I knit and they laugh. However, I have pulled out my knitted creations in public around my friends and have already received many requests to whip something up for them...and for money! :)

here are some patterns I'm going to try:

Recently I've made an effort to do things I really enjoy, like purposely sit in the sunlight, read, knit, listen to music, go for walks, eat chocolate and make tasty meals. I bought loose leaf tea which I've never done before and making it and drinking it is peaceful (I don't know why or how it is so different from tea from a tea bag...I just think it is). I think also I will start keeping a gratitude journal like I used to.

Here usually when I spoil myself - it's on something good

(meaning healthy....and if its not healthy...it's chocolaty haha).

For example yesterday I bought a package of plain rolled oats and thought that would be my cheaper and healthier alternative to the sugary cereals I've been mixing with my apples and yogurt. Why don't we do things that only make us happy? I know sometimes you have to do things that aren't the best (like paying rent and washing dishes)...but why don't we fill our free time with things that only make us happy?

I am moving out of my current apartment soon. I'll be making the big, tiring move up the street...yep I can carry my possessions to my new home. I'm moving because I'm realizing that my current apartment (although not pricey for it's size and comfort) is too pricey for me. I'm moving into a smaller apartment but it does its perks. Allow me to list the pros and cons of my current apt.

Pros: BIG, TV in my bedroom, bathroom connected to my bedroom, big kitchen, washing machine in my actual apartment, beautiful view, desk, shelves and good roomie.

Cons: it's freakin freezing here, pricey, my bedroom faces the street and so it can be a little loud at times (although I've gotten used to it) and it's like 40 steps farther than the new apt

New apt pros and cons:

Pros: warm!, there is a hammock on the terrace!, the living room would mainly be mine, almost 100 bucks cheaper, (not that this matters...but...) a maid once a week, a chef for a roomie, and a pool!, plus I'm on the 12th floor...super high up! :)

Cons: washing machines near the lobby that you have to pay for, super small bedroom, smaller living space in general...

Here's the new place:

I'm pretty excited to move to a cheaper place and also to have a different living space but I am sad to be leaving my apartment. In my opinion a change is needed. Plus the new roommate speaks clearer Spanish and likes to speak in Spanish more...I think my Spanish will improve in this new apt. :)

Change of topic: last weekend I was out with my friend Alicia on Saturday afternoon. We went out for lunch at this great little (and cheap!) gyro place. After, we walked back to my apartment which was maybe a 20-30 min walk. on our way we had to stop at an intersection (one I've been to many times). It was our turn to walk and suddenly from the other side of the street, this boy who was definitely not older than 15 ran towards Alicia and I. We weren't expecting it but he grabbed onto Alicia's purse and tried to run away with it. She held on and he ran away empty handed. But as he began to run away, Alicia turned towards him and yelled in the fiercest wrestler voice I've ever heard "FUCK OFF!!!!". It was the most hilarious thing that could have ever happened. It was funny for many reasons, my friend Alicia is a short, stalky serious looking girl, she could serious injure some people in a fight. It is also hilarious because if the guy HAD stolen her purse, he would have stolen a bag of English text books and an empty pack of cigarettes.

My classes are going really well. I don't have any new ones, other than the new business I work for but I've got about 21 hours a week of classes. I recently put up an add online for private lessons and strategically put up a nice picture of myself and received a reply within an hour.

this is the photo I used...how could you say no to this face?! haha

Lately I've been thinking of getting some tattoos. Ever since I walked down Avenida Providencia (the main street that cuts through Santiago) and saw all the tarot card readers, I've wanted to go. However with the language barrier, I'd need to go with someone who really understands both Spanish AND English. So I think once I find someone that fits these requirements as well as someone who I know well and wouldnt mind hearing my tarot card reading...I'm set. This being said...the Ace of Wands tarot card is the most amazing card. It refers to the southern direction (how convenient...I'm in South America) and it also represents an exciting new project or career, creativity, inventiveness, ambition, intuition, enthusiasm and foundations for future success. I also refers to clouds in terms of the mystery of the future, mountains in terms of the obstacles that we must climb to get to the top as well as rivers that lead the way. I don't know about you...but to me...that MOSTLY describes my time here in Chile.

Which leads me back to my opening statement for this paragraph...I want a tattoo. I've been thinking of getting the wand from the Ace of Wands card to symbolize my time in Chile but also as a reminder of my creativity, enthusiasm and ambition. But before I get this tattoo...I need to ponder it...PLUS I need to get the tarot card reading as well. Anyways....

I'd like to finish this most random post on a positive note. Although sometimes it's not hard to slip back into that unappreciative, lonely feeling here...the Universe keeps sending me reminds of why I'm so lucky. It has planted some of my favourite things right under my nose. Here they are:

The massive palm tree on Calle (Street) Carmen Sylva - I live on quite a residential street and not only have I found some side streets that shave a few minutes off my walk to school but are also absolutely beautiful. I can't help but smile when I walk along these streets. One is called Carmen Sylva and it has a huge palm tree that has branches that are so large that they literally create an archway over the sidewalk. I always walk along that side of the street just so I can walk under the archway of palm fronds :)

Cloves and Oranges - recently I went to this very large grocery store/everything store ("Jumbo") to buy things we dont have at our small nearby grocery stores. In the spice section I found cloves - undoubtedly my favourite smell. You buy some cloves...and an orange. You push the cloves into the orange and voila. it's heavenly...and now it is in my room

Maple syrup - when you're away from Maple syrup for a while - you realize how much it's true that Canadians love their maple syrup. On the same trip to Jumbo, Alicia and I bought some ingredients to make French toast. We went to the super small syrup section where they had strawberry, raspberry, blueberry and boysenberry syrup! seriously...YUM

Hot water bottles - like the kind you make when your tummy hurts and you curl up into bed with. I bought a hot water bottle recently and although I've only used it once, it was the greatest thing.

knitting - Leslie and I started a knitting club - it's unofficial in terms of the meeting times and whatnot however, we do have a name. Maybe not as original as my previous knitting club at UPEI (I miss you dearly) called "the knotty knitters" but still has character. We are called "Gee, u-knit?". In fact, Leslie's cell phone number is listed in my phone as "Leslie U-knit"

waking up to read - there's just something about laying in bed and reading a book for a while that makes me so happy.

ravelry - ravelry.com is the bomb. seriously - it's the best knitting/crocheting site you will ever go to. I have stayed on that site looking at patterns and ideas for hours on end. I sat out on my balcony yesterday just scanning through the patterns for new fingerless mittens (winter is apparently coming...)

love and support - need I explain? thank you for all of you who constantly give it.

I'll fill you in on the latest shortly.

love and miss as per usual.

besitos y abrazos mi amores!